Lee Baucom, Ph.D, did his training in established marriage therapy techniques, but after working in this field for years he came to the realization they not only were not working as expected, they often made it worse – so he changed his approach and has written about how to head off a divorce in his book, Save the Marriage ebook.
His years of studies about the difficulties of marriage showed him: Almost 50% of couples divorce after going through marriage therapy. * Just 10-20% felt they received help from any of the established marriage therapies.
With traditional counseling methods failing a high number of couples, Lee begin to create alternative solutions to keep marriages together.
It took 5 years of testing his methods of heading off a divorce decision, and keeping a lot of marriages intact, for him to see rates of success that more than surpassed those of classical marriage counseling methods.
He found success with his methods even when dealing with just one spouse working to maintain a marriage, which most counselors considered to be impossible.
Lee makes it clear from the start that his style of writing is more like having a conversation than teaching, and that makes it an easier read. If you are expecting a scholarly style of writing from Lee, you’ll be disappointed.
You will feel like he’s talking directly to you as you read, and there’s even has sections titled “Your Turn” placed through his book that ask you to think about and answer questions that will apply directly to your own marriage situation.
Lee does a great job of tackling tough issues through the use of colorful images and metaphors. This is when the old adage of a picture being worth a thousand words makes a tough subject easier to deal with. You will probably find yourself being able to relates to the various marriage examples he refers to.
Chapter by Chapter
Chapter One – Lee gives an explanation of why he thinks old-style marriage counseling doesn’t work for the majority of couples. He shows how good communication is a vital factor in marriage, but is definitely not the most important.
Chapter Two – Deals with the many issues of control that occur in marriages, and the resulting power struggles that end up creating more problems.
Chapter Three – A recipe for a successful marriage.
There’s three major ingredients to creating a cheerful relationship, and Lee explains how they work with each other to help achieve harmony.
Chapter Four – Shows what the real purpose of any marriage should be and how most couples don’t have a clue of what is required.
In addition, he discusses a crucial part of any marriage relationship that, if missing, just about promises a divorce for any couple.
Chapter Five – This is the chapter that I reference more than any other.
The 3 Simple Secrets to any Successful Marriage
“This is the chapter that hands you the keys to the castle – the true secrets to having a the kind of marriage you want.”
Chapter Six – Do you see your marriage spiraling down the drain? Quickly learn how to turn it around to the direction you want – UP.
Chapter Seven – Do not question yourself about love still being there.
This is the chapter where you’ll learn several ways to find and connect again with emotions that have become lost from the union.
Chapter Eight – This chapter take an in-depth look at emotional issues, especially anger.
Chapter Nine – Here’s where you find out how each person tends to be the center of their own universe, and when they’re diametrically opposed in one specific area there will be major problems as a result.
Chapter Ten – Here’s where Lee gets into the role boundaries will play in your relationship, and for me it was one of the vital chapters in the book.
Needless to say, there’s boundaries in all relationships, and getting into those “no-go” regios assures you of clashes. Setting boundaries takes 4 basic steps, and Lee will show you how to make this happen the right way so you don’t end up with constant fights.
He also gives a great description of a man who will do most anything to keep the peace, even giving up his own established boundaries. The good news is that the day will come when he recognizes what’s happening and then changes it.
Besides helping your own marriage, this is terrific information that can be applied to any of other relationships you may have.
Chapter Eleven – This shows you how to trust your spouse instead of just making up stories, which we all tend to do, about them being angry with you when they are not! It also gives you lessons in forgiveness.
Chapter Twelve – Lee instructs you about those 4 stages of true intimacy from the beginning of a relationship all the way through to being able to appreciate as well as accept one another.
Chapter Thirteen – Teaches you to awareness of how quickly relationships are influenced by mood swings.
Chapter Fourteen – One of the greatest barriers to change is when you live in your past instead of choosing to being the present moment.
Chapter fifthteen – Because of most couples attitude concerning sex in marriage, Lee explains how it can quickly become turn into a major issue. You’ll learn a different perspective of sex that will make it much more satisfying for both of you, as well as bringing you closer together in your relationship.
Chapter Sixteen – Instead of allowing money issues to be a constant source of disruption in your marriage, find out how you can turn it into a catalyst to help both of you achieve greater understanding and growth. The end of the chapter offers questions that will help show you where your thoughts about money originally developed in your life.
Chapter Seventeen – If you want a growing and going relationship, you can’t allow it to remain motionless for any length of time.
Lee Baucom, Ph.D helps clarify the various challenges every couple faces, and offers easy ways for anyone to understand the psychology involved with marriage as well as their relationship with their partner. While there may be some sections that you will need to reread, overall this ebook contains a great amount of practical and sensible advice that’s presented to you in a conversational tone of voice.
Even though some people will be uncomfortable with the areas where “Save The Marriage” is in direct opposition of most established techniques of marriage counseling, based on the track record for those traditions it’s time to embrace any change as an improvement.
Lee has stated that over 41,000 people have seen their relationships improve due to “Save The Marriage” – and that’s a lot higher rate of success than traditional counseling can claim. Interestingly enough, this book has been ripped off by 3 others trying to sell it as their own writing. I guess they discovered, like myself and many others it has helped, just how powerful this information is for couples.
If your marriage is important to you, then purchasing “Save The Marriage” means you have nothing to lose, and lots to gain by your decision. In addition, Dr. Baucom promises if you are one of the very few he cannot be of help to, a full refund will be given to you.
I strongly urge you to take a serious look at “Save The Marriage” now to see for yourself if the value it offers you is worth the cost of it.